today i just got a call from my best friend. my best friend is not a "she", he's a "he". he was just telling me that he likes me. and you know what i did? i dropped my phone! everything stopped at that time, the clock in my room stopped ticking, the fan stopped spinning and there was no more oxygen in the air. of course, this was all my imagination. but it seemed real for a second, since i found myself breathing hard and tearing up.
 i left my phone there and ran up here; my sister's room with this laptop, typing in all the crazy things in my head.
 i'm thinking alot of thoughts right now;
 Why did he do this? i mean, did he really have to do it? now everything is ruined! between me and you guys, i think our relationship will end up like a bad episode on "Friend zone". now things will be awkward. i wonder why guys have to be so stupid, so careless, so ..........................just so inconsiderable!
 i had a crush on him once. but that was way before, when we just met. but then i realized that we were only meant to be friends...best friends. and nothing more.
 those feelings faded away through time, and i learned to love him. love him as a brother, a friend and companion. love his unique way of understanding my feelings and the language they speak- a language no one else understood, just him.
 and now he tells me this: i like you, and i think we should get together. 
my heart is weak today. i've lost a best friend,  no, i've lost a brother. an angel, someone i could trust, someone i could hold and cry on, someone i could count on, some one i love.
 i'm staring at the screen of this laptop and my mind keeps repeating to me: it's over..................
it's over.........it's over.
 the fuck i know it's over!!!!!!!
cuz i would feel too lifeless and numb to pick up my phone and dial his number, and he's be too embarrased and confused, or mad even to call me again.
 and when we see each other, we might not talk to each other.
it'll be as if we never knew each other.
 God help me, i'm lost. :(